Sunday Links: emotions are fucked, do what is close to you, and empathetic leadership
Share only the best you have
The work in the studio kept me busy, and I didn't have much time for writing. But even when I did have the time, I didn't feel like sharing what I found. Here's why.
A lot of new information can be overwhelming, and you need time to process the knowledge you've just gained, find the right spot for them in the system of your values, and upgrade your current routine and habits with that knowledge. Otherwise, writing about it would look phony and arrogant, as if I'd mastered all those things.
Well, I didn't. I don't know shit. Well, I know something, but I never give up learning, enhancing, and polishing my approach and attitude. It's a continuous process of evolution. To let our ideas evolve, we simply have to be patient and give them at least five minutes before we put them to the test.
That's why these letters have become so sporadic. Some might say it's a lack of discipline. I say it's because I only write when my thoughts are well-roasted and ready to serve.
Findings I’ve enjoyed this week
Why you shouldn’t trust your emotions. They say, "Follow your heart." Maybe it's a good way of buying a loaf of bread at the market. But it's hardly the best way to make big decisions in real life. The problem with emotions is that they come and go. Emotions are a Russian roller-coaster. Today you're up; tomorrow, you're down, and so on. I doubt any of us would like to spend life like that.
Mark Manson explains why blindly following your emotions is not going to make you happy and how to manage your emotions in a healthy, non-toxic way. His stoic approach sends us back to Marcus Aurelius, though Mark also shares a clear vision of how not to fall prey to any of these extremes: self-loathing, self-righteousness, ego, or narcissism.
Here’re two more pieces related to handling emotions and decision-making:
Don’t follow your heart is a 30-min video by Dwayne at "Dry Creek Wrangler School" on makings good decisions. He advises not to rush or fall for your emotions. Let it grow on you. Talk to people, gather some facts, and run them through your rational mind. Make an informed decision, not a decision by heart.
Give it five minutes is a post by Jason Fried at “Signal vs. Noise”. Jason tells a story about how he used to be short-tempered, but as soon as he stopped giving people knee-jerk reactions, the quality of his decisions increased. Moreover, fragile ideas that were usually buried due to the first emotional reactions got their chance to convert into working solutions.
Do what is close to you. It's a blog post from Tobias van Schneider's blog on how to place your product on the market. There're three ways, and the third is to be a customer. Building a product you need as much as other potential customers who face the same problems you do is the strategy I stick to. Of course, I risk being the only person who needs this product. Well, so be it.
Something bothers you. Something is itching you. There's something you want that doesn't exist yet, and chances are, someone else who wants it too. Of course, this doesn't mean it will be an outrageous success because you could still be just the only person who wants it, or your target audience could be just ten other people.
The pitfalls of “cool parent” leadership. A damn good piece on management. Alison Taylor, the executive director of Ethical Systems, gave an interview where she spells out why too caring and supportive managers do more harm than good.
The leader's good intention to make their team as comfortable as possible is not a cure. It's a delay of the irrevocable. Too much comfort and parenting delude people and put them into a bubble. It leads to situations when people don't know the actual level of their competence and believe everything's fine.
Remember there was an episode on "House M. D." when Cameron couldn't tell the patient she was dying? The patient thought she just had a cold while she had hours left. This is a typical "hyper-caring parenting" situation when good intentions led right to emotional and moral hell.
Here're two quotes from the interview I find the most relevant:
A fully democratic system doesn’t even make sense in a for-profit setting, given performance pressure, and the reality that decisions need to be made fast and sometimes on the fly.
You don’t humiliate, you don’t shame people, and you don’t save everything for the quarterly performance review and then dump a load of criticism on people, but let people know throughout their work what they can improve and where they’re doing well.
Fair Exchange. Chris Silvestri on creative writing
I’ll do cross promotions with other writers and authors from time to time. I call them “Fair Exchanges”. Today I’d like to recommend you Chris Silvestri’s newsletter.
Chris shares tips and techniques that help people write higher-converting copy for their SaaS, ecommerce or service business. He writes daily, each edition takes two minutes to read. If you love learning with small portions, that’s the way.
Check Chris Silvestri’s newsletter →
Updates. Send me a tip 🍩
From today on you can thank me by sending a donation via Boosty. It accepts cards issued both by foreign banks. The payment will be processed in USD.
Feel free to donate! Good writing must be rewarded.
Hope you’ve found this email thought-provoking. If you have, share it with your friends and people who may like it. I’ll appreciate your support and feedback.
Baku, 9 April 2023
Ask me anything via email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Telegram, or read my blog via RSS.
Donate via Boosty. If you’re in Russia, donate via Tinkoff or Yoomoney.